Do all languages have thank you? I wonder. Do they always say it in the same way? My curious mind wants to know. In Bangla, we don’t have it. We have a translation for thank you/আপনাকে/তোমাকে/ তোকে ধন্যবাদ or thanks/ধন্যবাদ. Using the Bangla translation of thank you is uncommon in spoken Bangla language. It can be used in formal context but I don’t thank my parents or siblings in Bangla, nor even in English. We strictly follow the no sorry, no thank you in friendship rule (sorry has a story too. I’ll have to tell a sorry story later).Last time my Bengali friend asked me “what’s wrong with you” when I said thank you multiple times in our conversation because I wanted to be a Canadian. My friend harshly reminded me that I’m still a Bengali. So here is the story of a Bengali who wants to be Canadian (White one not other kinds like brown or black) and say thank you.
Have you been to the University of Regina? The doors are so heavy for this skinny Canadian and fat Bengali girl. They become extra heavy during ice hockey season (read winter. I’m just trying to be Canadian by consciously choosing words that show I’m familiar with White Canadian culture). I spent countless late evenings and nights on campus. I found a disciple (I thought she was but she just wanted to pick my brain). So one evening when we were leaving the campus and I was whipping my disciple’s brain, I pushed the heavy door but didn’t hold it for a White boy who was behind me. He held the door for his own kind and my disciple said, “Sorry, she’s new here (I wasn’t). Thank you.” Language is interesting. You can use sorry and thank you at the same time in the same sentence, for example, sorry but fuck you. I LOVE English.
Okay, what was I saying? I was saying how Bengalis don’t say but we do ধন্যবাদ/thank you. The most common way to do ধন্যবাদ/thank you is to feed you. The most common way to feed you is to invite you to our home. The Bengalis say guests are দেবতা / gods. They also receive the same treatment. Many people ask me “what brought you here”? The honest answer is I came here because I wanted to be a god. I discovered it wasn’t only me who desired to be a god. My fellow Bengalis wanted the same. They went to the Great Canadian Superstore and refused to say thank you to the cashiers. But of course they didn’t invite them, feed them or treat them like gods. Because the cashiers’ job is to take your money and lock it in the black box. They don’t care if you’re a god or god damn it. Why would you say or do thank you to those who are just simply doing their job? It didn’t make any sense to the Bengalis. It gradually started to make sense when their English was unclear to the ears. I don’t blame those ears because they had hearing issues on that particular day. My fellow Bengalis learned how to say thank you very fast. Now nobody’s hearing is as poor as before. Sometimes they have to spell their name out but they’re working on their sorry. So I’m hoping we will be good with names soon. Rubina will be Rubina not Robina or Rabina.
Now don’t get me wrong but we Bengalis need to work on our thank you. We do thank you but we also need to say thank you. Doing thank you is tradition but tradition can be changed. Good stuff can be added to tradition and become stronger. I had a friend who bought me flowers everyday and sang all my favourite songs. In my dorm, I was that flower girl. I told many people about the flowers and how thankful I was but never said thank you to that friend because to me my friend was doing a job that a friend was supposed to do. I didn’t say thank you but I did do thank you. My doing thank you didn’t help anyone. So the moral of the story is don’t just change your profile picture on Facebook. Say thank you. I’ve a thousand stories on this topic but let’s move on.
Why am I suddenly writing about thank you? It’s because of this pandemic (I won’t use the word damn pandemic because it’s teaching me many things. One is being humble). I was telling a friend how people were nice to me. She summed it up very well: “it’s a kind vibe because of the pandemic.” Pandemic has some stages. According to my friend, we’re on the kind vibe stage. Let me tell you some good news. I’ve become 60% Canadian. Well, this damn (want to use damn here because it sounds nice. I could use darn but where’s the fun ? I probably know the difference between damn vs. darn. Damn!) brown (Canada)/ black (Bangladesh) skin will never be white unless I bleach it. I don’t think bleached white will be acceptable as White. Then I’ve to fix my accent because nobody understands my health or girl or car. To tell you the truth, it’s a lot of work to be Canadian! But hey I’m still a bit Canadian. I know when to say thank, thank you, and thank you so/very much with appropriate tone. I also know that you don’t say I don’t know how to say thank you. Ah! Here is the fun fact, you can say it in Bengali. It’s acceptable. Because Bengalis don’t know many things which are acceptable facts. The ex colonized, small, densely populated, and poor country won’t know many things. It’s normal. Everyone knows it. As a Canadian, I also know when to say I don’t know. For example, I can comfortably say huh! I don’t know or I didn’t know that when it comes to Canadian history. So now here is another fun fact, Bengalis don’t permit I don’t know when it comes to history. You see Bengalis are famous for their intellectual snobbery (I take pride being intellectual Bengali and happily do the snobbery. Sorry!). Reminder: I’m still discussing thank you.
I’ve been surviving a pandemic because of a thousand people (not really a thousand but you know what I mean). I’m healthy and safe and staying well because of them. Although I haven’t baked sourdough yet, I ate pumpkin pie (next step pumpkin latte). You’ll be happy to hear that I’ve taken up new hobbies. One of them is gardening. My friend is giving me pots, dirt, and plants. She will plant them on the weekend. I’m pretty sure she’ll also water them. But hey! Everything will happen in my backyard. So it’s my garden, easy math. My second new hobby is eating various foods. I have been trying Bengali, Chinese, Canadian, and Italian food. If you’re wondering if I’m cooking them and before asking for a recipe, let me stop you right there. My friends are dropping food everyday at my door. I’m into eating, not cooking. People say cooking is meditating. Bullshit! When did you start cooking? 9 year old, 10 year old? No? Oh! When you’re in your 30s or 40s, you’re cooking for yourself, not for the whole family? Don’t talk to me about cooking and meditation, and trying new recipes is fun. Sorry if I sound angry, I don’t mean to!
I have a person who checks on me everyday to make sure that I’m doing well. I was raised by a sister (not a wolf if you’re wondering). In my life, I found a sister everywhere I went. People have a dad complex or mother complex, I have probably a sister complex. Although everyone jokes around that this person is my mother, she is my sister who looks after me and makes me feel safe and warm. I want to follow her everywhere she goes like a little lamb but I don’t want to annoy her. During this pandemic I have met a thousand people (not physical meeting) who care about me and wish me well. Sometimes I think about what I have done to deserve it (trying to be modest here. I deserve it because I’m a nice person. Well, sometimes.). I want to do thank you them because saying thank you is not enough.
